A Day in the Life of a Toddler

Ever have those moments when you watch your toddler babbling away and you wonder what they’re really thinking or what they want to say? Well the fact that I went ahead and wrote this may be evidence that I wonder too much!

06:00 – Mummy and Daddy have had enough sleep now. It was hard work keeping them up in the night kicking the walls but I can’t sleep now. After all without me how would they know when to get up?

06:10 – Throwing a tantrum now because I’m too tired. A little whinge wont suffice here. I need to throw myself down to the ground kicking and screaming because…..well, you know, just because.

06:30 – They just changed my nappy so that must mean they want me fill this one up. Wee, poo, it doesn’t matter. Can’t let this nappy go to waste!

07:00 – Mummy is trying to instigate less screen time. I know what she’s up to. Time to shout “Cbeebeebeebies!!” over and over till she relents and puts on Postman Pat. Then she always pours some hot stuff into a cup to drink it right after. Not sure why.

07:10 – After a few minutes of watching Postman Pat have issues with the simple delivery of a parcel yet again (seriously I’m 1 nearly 2 and even I could do better?) I’m bored. This floor looks too tidy. Time to tip some toys all over it. Might even put some in Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom for good measure. They love it when I surprise them with my toys in their bed!

08:00 – Breakfast time! My favourite meal of the day! Time for my- wait where’s my cheerios? Toast! What trickery is this? I like toast but for breakfast I always have cheerios. Mummy knows this so why change a good thing now? Nope this wont do. Tantrum time again…..

But this toast is yummy. She’s let me have some jam as a special treat. Ok maybe I forgive her. Yoghurt time! And why confine it to the pot! Yoghurt makes excellent finger paint. And Mummy loves it when I do my finger painting with my yoghurt. She gets all excited! Though she gets her words mixed up and keeps saying “No” rather than “Yes”. Silly Mummy. She’s been doing that a lot lately.

8:30 – Right that’s breakfast done and it’s nappy filling time again! Mummy’s been trying to get me to use that weird pot thing to go to toilet in lately. Think it’s called a “Potty”. But that’s not happening. I mean she wants me to do my business in a plastic tub? I’m not an animal. I’m quite happy hiding here behind the sofa and pooping into my nappy. Much more civilised.

9:00– Mummy says we need to go to Asda. We need some more milk and bread but for some reason she never just buys that. She buys chocolate, crisps, clothes for me….Maybe there’s a minimum spend limit? I don’t understand. Mummy wont let me bring my bunny with me because she says I’ll drop it like last time. I promise I wont Mummy! She lets me bring bunny, yay!

9:30– I drop bunny in Asda.

Mummy is not impressed. We hunt high and low. I miss bunny. Time to tantrum again. Maybe he’ll hear me and come back.

9:35– Ah there he is! See! He heard me scream and came running to make me feel better. I love you bunny. I wont ever drop you ever again.

9:40- I drop bunny in Asda again.

10:00 – We’re walking home from Asda. I have no idea why that took so long. Mummy is so slow at shopping. Ooooh look a dog. Oh no! It’s getting away. Walk faster Mummy!! “Goggy! Goggy! Goggy!”. The man with the dogs is getting away. Maybe if I shout louder he’ll hear me “GOGGYYYYYY!!!!”.

10:00 – Now we’re home and Mummy’s trying to get me to have my morning nap. Ha! Yeah good luck with that Mummy. I’m too tired to tantrum though so I’ll just whinge and bit and sit here with my bunny and my book and read….for……a…..b-

zzzzZZZZZZZZ………..

12:00– Wait what?! Damn she tricked me into napping again. She’s crafty that Mummy. Quick nappy change and they’re doing that song on Cbeebies that reminds Mummy it’s time for…..

12:15 – LUNCH! Scrambled eggs and toast? Get in! My favourite! What Mummy? You want me to use my spoon, not my hands? But that just slows me down! And I need to eat this yummy scrummy egg as fast as I can. Mmmmm I love egg.

13:30 – Lunch is over, fresh nappy, time for PLAY! It’s sunny today so Mummy has said we can go to the park. I’m so excited! Buggy, buggy, buggy, buggy, PARK!!

13:45 – At the park, got my ball to kick but – ooooooh mud! Maybe if I dig in the mud I’ll find buried treasure. Or even better…..chocolate! Must keep digging! Oh no hear comes Mummy! Nooooo I don’t want to be wiped! I want to diiiiiiiig! Tantrum time.

14:15 – Quick pit stop at the café. Mummy’s brought my bottle of water and some raisins which are yummy but – oooh what’s she eating? That looks yummy and cakey and chocolatey…..I must have some! Maybe if I say please and thank you enough she’ll give me some! Peas? Peas? Ta? Peas? PEAS!! TA!!!

15:00 – Home from the park now. Time for my daily request to watch Frozen. If I charge over to the remote, grab it and shout “Elsa!!” Mummy will get the message. Not sure why she’s groaning. She loves Elsa really. Who doesn’t? Elsa! Elsa! Oooh here’s my favourite song. Love is an open DOOOOOOR…. I have a beautiful singing voice.

16:30 – Mummy’s trying to cook dinner now. She must want my help! Maybe she’ll need these little pots in here. I’ll get them all out for her…. Oh no, she looks cross. Put them back! Put them back! Oh no, why doesn’t throwing them at the cupboard work?!! Hey! Mummy! Put me down! I don’t want to sit and play with my bricks I wanted to heeeeeelp!!! Tantrum time.

17.00 – DINNER!!! Ooooh Sausages! And mash! And- wait. What’s what green stuff? Bleurgh. Mummy’s trying to poison me! I’ll tell Daddy. Daddy! Daddy! He’s at work still? Noooo Daddy! You must saaaaaaave me!

18:00 – I survived dinner. Phew. I managed to throw most of the green stuff on the floor when Mummy wasn’t looking. I think I got away with it. Oooh I hear the door! Maybe it’s Elsa come to rescue me! Oh no it’s just Daddy. Wait- it’s Daaaaaddy!!!! Oh Daddy you’re my favouritest person ever! Mummy’s looked after me all day but you’re simply the bestest ever!!

18:30 – Mummy calls me to do my teeth. Ugh why do we have to do this AGAIN. I only just did them this morning. I’ll just chew the brush. That’s enough. What? You want to brush them? Noooooo! Nooooo! I don’t want clean teeth! I was saving that food for later!!

Mummy runs my bath and WOW look at all those bubbles! Where do they come from? She lifts me into the bath and oooooh I can see a person in the tap! They look like me! Mummy tells me I have to sit down now. Ugh she wants to wash my hair.

Now she’s all done washing me and I can SPLASH!! Splash! Splash! Splash! This room will be my own personal indoor pool oh yes. Splash! Oh no Mummy’s lifting me out now. But Mummy I wasn’t done! I want my poooool!!

18:45 – Mummy & Daddy are dressing me for bed. I keep hiding under the towel and silly Mummy & Daddy keep thinking I’ve disappeared! I’m right here you sillies! So so funny! Oooh these pyjamas feel all nice and cosy and I know what’s coming next…..

19:00 – Bottle!!! Ah warm milky goodness. Makes me feel *yawn* sleepy but I WILL NOT GIVE IN. Mummy’s reading me a story and I love how she does the silly voices. Oh and it’s the zoo one now! I wish the zoo would send me an elephant.

19:15 – Story time’s over now and Mummy tucks me in and tells me I must sleep. But nope. I think now is time to explore my drawers. Oooh nappies! And lotion! And all these clothes! Yup they need to go on my bed. I need it all. Oops here comes Daddy. He looks cross. He’s tucked me back up. I will not give in, I will – not – *yawn* – give -…….. zzzzZZZZZ

01:15 – What was that noise? Wind? A creak? It must be morning!!! Mummy! Mummy! Daddy! Oh Mummy looks tired! It’s not morning? Oh. Sorry. My mistake. But I can’t sleep now. I’m WIDE awake. Cuddle me! CUDDLE ME!! Ahhh that’s better….zzzzZZZZZ

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